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Looking to Learn – LittleDawg and MrsLD
Hi Folks,
Recently my girlfriend of 15 years and I went through some tough relationship times. We weren’t as “connected” as either of us wanted to be and I felt we were drifting apart. We started talking more about our relationship, whether we would like to stay together and where we should go from here…..while we were talking about sex she murmured to me….I read FSOG and I liked it. At first I didn’t realize this was important (I love to read and I’ve read Tens of Thousands of books over the years) but when i questioned her again later she confirmed that she liked it. So what does this mean?
I’ve come to realize that over the years I’ve missed a lot of the signs she’s unconsciously given to me. And it has been unconsciously – she didn’t even realize that she might be sub at all. She still won’t really admit to it (is this a problem with subs?) but she wants to obey and be owned by a man, not 24/7 and not even all the time in the bedroom, but I think parts of both really. She would like me to be more assertive outside the bedroom in making the decisions in our vanilla life – like what restaurant do we go to? what do we eat for dinner at home? etc., etc..
Just the little bit that I’ve learned and implemented has made our sex life much better than it ever has been – I’m not a controlling person, but I’m certainly kinky enough for it 😉 I love her with all my heart and if it will make her happy for me to be a Dom to her – I would be happy to do it.
How often does it happen that the sub can’t admit they’re a sub? and has trouble saying what she likes about being a sub? How do you get your sub to let you know what they like?
Thanks All for reading this!
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2 Replies
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Welcome, I think you will find this community very welcoming and helpful.
My Aine approached me about it, but not sure she could explain exactly why she wants to be submissive. The rest is all about communicating. Lots of communicating. Communicating about things you’d never talk about in the vanilla context, communicating about anything and everything. Communicate until you think you’ve talked about everything and then go do some research and come back and communicate more. Did I mention communication? 🙂
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Little Dawg,
Welcome aboard,
I do not know the actual data to your question but I would wager that many, if not most, of the submissives don’t realize that they actually desire to be submissives until they read about it somewhere.
Without a leader both partners seem to always be jockeying for position and usually at the other partner’s expense. I also believe that our society today and the way that we perceive ‘women rights’ has a lot of influence as well. Maybe woman spend so much of their time standing up for their rights that they loose sight of what ‘they’ really desire in a relationship.
Best wishes,
Mr Fox
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