This topic contains 9 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  GoddessQueen 2 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #73224
     GoddessQueen 
    Participant

    Basic | Dominant

    I would like to open the forums for some comments and insight from the Dommes. There is a wide range of age and experience that I think can be shared. It would also be nice to have a spot where we can respond to each other besides live chat (although I do encourage participating every once and a while).

    One topic I had in mind was…non penetration.

    Dommes (and doms), what are your thoughts?

  • #73225
     Sir Hermosa 
    Participant

    Premium Content | Through the Eyes of a husDOM™

    Great idea GoddessQueen.

    I’m obviously not a Domme, but I think this would be a great spot to immortalize some of those conversations.

    What specifically about non-penetration are you looking to talk about? Seems like a pretty broad subject to me… as in how do you maintain Dominance without penetration? How do you Feed your sub without penetration? Ideas for play using no penetration?

    Can you narrow it down?

    Cheers

    • #73277
       Madame Lionne 
      Participant

      Basic | Dominant

      Well as a domme myself, my thoughts about no penetration is a great idea. To me, not everything is about sex and penetration. There are many ways to keep the control without penetration. Withholding it for one. As a female and a domme we would have that control. There are many types of play that don’t involve penetration so to assume that it’s needed for control is a lie, in my opinion. Not everyone enjoys penetration or it isn’t a priority. Not every female wants it all the time as we have other ways to pleasure ourselves. Female dommes have a different mindset then male dommes.

  • #73237
     GoddessQueen 
    Participant

    Basic | Dominant

    Thank you Sir Hermosa.

    This topic is a bit broad because I wish to see where the conversation will take it. How do some of the current dommes handle it? And what is the main goal/reason for the situation.

    If this topic is a bit much to talk about at the moment, there can be other suggestions for discussion 🙂

  • #73259
     GoddessQueen 
    Participant

    Basic | Dominant

    Hello Dommes and our friendly doms.

    The next topic I wish to address is SADISM. It was brought up in our dominant chat group about a week ago and I think its an interesting topic.

    I myself, am generally a bit sadist. Not to the point where I hurt someone for our joined pleasure (yet), but in everyday life I get a bit of joy from some form of it. I have a friend, she is also a bit sadistic, for when she teases people its an extreme form of it to the point where she enjoys seeing them uncomfortable and squimish.

    Is this bad? It depends on who you’re asking. She never takes it to the point of making a person feel BAD bad though.

    That said, let’s look into DS Sadism.

    Its. Completely. Normal. (at least I think so)

    At some point, the thrill or joy you get from the “painful pleasure” could be startling. Especially if its a new feeling and you’ve never, in your life, been told its okay to enjoy others pain and/or had a chance to talk about it. Remember, its a DSD, a Dom(me) Sub Dynamic. Do what’s best for both of you. If your sub is begging and bending for more, then do it. If you feel a certain moral way about it, talk to your sub. Im sure they can help you emotionally. In the chat, some dom(mes) were shocked, even SHOOK, by this new emotion. But their subs we’re loving it.

    Just because the WORD has negative connotations, doesn’t mean you can’t change the meaning of it for yourself and your dynamic. (Derogatory words is a whole other topic and thing, so in the future it can be brought up)

    These are my thoughts on the matter. Some dom(mes) add sadism to their play, some don’t. And that’s OK. As long as there is respect, trust, and communication, work on your DSD as best as you can. Please share with me you’re thoughts and opinions here.

  • #73279
     Mr. K sir 
    Moderator

    Premium Content | Through the Eyes of a husDOM™

    Goddessqueen,

    I love the topic, in fact I have had many conversations with Mr. Fox about this. When we started out my sub wanted to try impact play more then I did, I indulged her and started with spanking. I always got the same critique from her,” it could have been harder/longer”. The thing is I was having trouble “hitting” my wife, something I always said I would never do. For me the solution, in the beginning, was to separate my wife and my sub. During impact play i didn’t look at her as my wife, she was my sub and only my sub. Once I got through the mental aspect and saw how much she enjoyed being spanked I was able to look at her as my wife AND my sub. This is the point where I started to really enjoy, even need impact play in our dynamic.

    On to the sadist point of your post. I was not a sadist but I believe I have become one, at least a sexual sadist. I recieve a great deal of pleasure from giving my sub pain, not hurting her but giving her pain non the less. I am at a point where just thinking about spanking, flogging or caning her is a huge turn on for me, and the marks I leave on her…I can’t describe the feelings I get but pride and love come close. Not pride in myself for leaving them but pride in her for being so strong to not only take the impact but for enjoying it.

    Being a sadist is no different then being a masochist, two sides to the same coin. Embrace your role and your true self. As long as it’s done safe, sane and consensual let you sadist side out to play.

    Mr. K sir

  • #73280
     Sir Hermosa 
    Participant

    Premium Content | Through the Eyes of a husDOM™

    My wife will now send me “next day” pics of the marks I have left on her. They are marks of pride for her.

    I can’t say I’m not turned on by spanking her, but for me 98% of that reaction is knowing how SHE will react. It is a rare thing for me to spank her and not elicit moans of appreciation. How can we not get hooked on that?

  • #73281
     Madame Lionne 
    Participant

    Basic | Dominant

    Well I can somewhat relate to Mr. K. It’s still new for me since I’ve only been a domme for just under 2 months now. From what I can tell it’s apart of the dynamic and I’m not sure if I’ll ever understand being a sadist or masochist. I’m neither but seeing my husband in so much pleasure from impact play I really enjoy. I love hearing him in pleasure in ways that I’ve never been able to do before. I think that eventually I could want to do impact for myself but I’m not there yet. I don’t think I can ever call myself a sadist but more of a domme wanting to pleasure her sub. Who knows how I will feel in the future.

    • #73282
       Mr. K sir 
      Moderator

      Premium Content | Through the Eyes of a husDOM™

      Madame lionne,

      That’s how it started for me. At first I wasnt into impact, but seeing how much my sub enjoyed it made me want to do it for her. From there it grew inside me to where I am today. I will admit there are times when I push her to her limit for me, but I work at limiting those times so she doesnt start to dislike it. Once she is warmed up though I can do just about anything. Keep doing what your doing and you will both be happy and that’s the important thing.

      Mr. K sir

  • #73283
     GoddessQueen 
    Participant

    Basic | Dominant

    I seem to be having technical difficulties in replying to individual threads, so I will post in the general one.

    Thanks for the comments everyone, its great to see people engaged. It’s interesting to see others people point of view on sadism, referring it to a part of impact play. As well as seeing it as a “bag of honor” from our subs who greatly enjoy it. Even working through it within ourselves to a point where we think, “of COURSE I want ketchup (sexual sadism) with my fries (impact play)!”

    It’s like a part of the course now 🙂

    Im not too sure on doing the act now…but seeing how my fellow dom(mes) have positively changed, there’s hope for me yet 😀

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