- September 2, 2018 at 6:42 pm #71316
In many vanilla social situations on the spot behavioral corrections or punishments are not practical or acceptable. For example, if you’re at a work related gathering and your subMrs begins to misbehave it would raise some eyebrows if you bent her over your knee. However, merely letting the behavior go will only teach her that she can get away with murder in these situations. So how do you remind her that you are paying attention to her and that her behavior is not going to go without punishment?
Here are a couple tricks that I have picked up to help the situation.
First: my darling’s everyday collar has a loose chain and a pearl pendant, a quick flick of the pendant makes a quiet jingle as the pendant bounces off her chest, this serves as her warning that her behavior is unacceptable and continued misbehavior will begin to earn punishments.
Second: she has been instructed to carry a pen in her purse at all times, at any point she misbehaves I will ask her “darling, do you have my pen?” and make a small tick mark on my hand for the offense, repeating the process as necessary for each subsequent offense. Failure to produce the pen would carry added punishments. That way you are showing her that you are paying attention, are still in control, and you subtly Dom her in front of your vanilla company.
What techniques do you use to maintain discipline in vanilla settings?
- September 4, 2018 at 2:36 pm #71327Mr. Fox | Founder D/s-MKeymasterPremium Content | Through the Eyes of a husDOM™
This is a great question…
For myself, I refer to lk as ‘lk’ almost all of the time. For various reasons I will refer to her as ‘Kaninchen’. When I refer to lk as Kaninchen it is to get her attention and have her display respect. It is a simple word that elicits a response from my lk.
I have never punished my lk in public and honestly don’t expect to ever punish her in public. I have funished in public as you can personally attest to. lol. An actual punishment is a very personal and intimate action.
With that said, in a public setting I am trying to capture my lk’s attention. This is accomplished by the use of the name. Often when this happens she may not get it the first time that I use the name. I just pause and say it again, without raising my voice or making a negative tone. It hasn’t taken more than that yet.
- September 5, 2018 at 4:00 pm #71333
I agree Mr. Fox. I have one once publically punished darling and that was at the retreat in a safe and accepting place. I dont believe in public punishment, I think it sends the wrong message and would most likely bring wrong attention. The pen on the hand more serves as a reminder to me that, when we are again in private that a chance to seize her submission 😉 is at hand.
- August 5, 2019 at 6:47 pm #73531GravytronParticipantBasic | Dominant
Just a word of thanks to each of you. I’m developing my own identity as my babygirls Daddy and wondered about this exact scenario, especially around family, as our D/s relationship is new, and private. Although, I do find that when my babygirl acts out or needs a subtle reminder, I can continue to smile while I whisper a small correction in her ear. She responds well, and even smiles herself at knowing that I am always watching and her boundaries are clear. To onlookers it is seen as vanilla romance, which adds to the fun as well.
- August 9, 2019 at 3:28 pm #73579
Excellent point Gravytron. Any way we can show our submissives that they are under our constant watch, and our protection as an extension of that, only serves to strengthen the bonds and trust we have for each other. As well as ensure consistent good behavior from our subs.
- September 6, 2019 at 3:04 pm #73805dmhParticipantBasic | Dominant
Sorry for the late response, hope this helps someone. We are also private and maintaining it in public can be difficult. Depending on the situation we both have apple watches. I am able to change color on the feedback I send her, so depending on if it’s a warning or she has gone too far I can change the color of the circles she receives. This lets her know something is wrong. As it’s on her watch it’s only seen by her and if someone questions what it is she can say it’s a heartbeat reminder.
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