This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  PeterUnwillig 7 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #70837
     Sincity702 
    Participant

    Basic | Dominant

    So I recently was in a discussion with several gentleman here on the site about how it helps to know what type of sub your significant other is. This discussion began because I had made a post about giving my PM some homework to discover what type of sub she identified with the most. From the research I had done I had figured she was a brat type sub. The issue was that all the different definitions I could find about brat type subs didn’t fit her exactly. My PM however discovered the S.A.M. (Smart Ass Masochist) type sub, which I had never found, that is similar to a brat type sub with a few slight differences but that fit my wife exactly. Even though this discovery was recent it helped me greatly in understanding some of the things that were causing me to feel like I was missing something as her Dominant and was causing a lul in our dynamic.

    During the conversation a really good point was brought up that made me want to write this post. When identifying your subs type you want to be careful not to lock yourself in to a single definition of what you or your sub think they may be but always be exploring the differences because you may have a sub who mainly identifies with one type or definition but who also has similarities or traits of another type. It really made the “make it your own” saying that you hear so often here on the husDOM site ring so true.

    After my discussion here and some downtime discussion with my PM we made a plan to go back and visit this assignment of discovering what type of sub she is every few months. This will help us check in on what we are currently doing or what we need to change to keep making this ours and ensuring that we are finding what works best for us. I wish I had thought of this back when my wife and I began this D/s-M dynamic but I am glad we figured this out together as we will strive to do always. I just hope this might help some of you who may just be beginning your journey or even those who maybe haven’t evaluated your dynamic in a while.

  • #70838
     Mr. K sir 
    Moderator

    Premium Content | Through the Eyes of a husDOM™

    Sincity,

    Very well said sir. It is important for all of us to remember this is a journey and we are always moving forward. My Dea and I make it a point to sit down and reflect on where we are every few months. This entails going over everything from our contract to limits and making changes as needed. If we assume everything is the same and don’t change anything along our journey we will never move forward. I applaud you for coming to this understanding.

    My best to you and your PM.

    Mr. K sir

  • #71892
     Skipper_T 
    Participant

    Basic | Dominant

    Of course I’ve heard of “brats” and “pain sluts” and other types of subs–but is there a definitive list somewhere? It might be interesting to compile one, if not.

  • #72307
     PeterUnwillig 
    Participant

    Basic | Dominant

    Dear Sirs,

    identifying the type of your significant other is an interesting approach and I guess a very common one. It is similar to the “big five” or OCEAN model in psychology – see wiki. Within this framework a personality is discribed by five traits which are mixed with different intensity to define ones personality.
    Whenever I tried to find out about the subtype of my wife we ended up with different mixtures, that were not only changing slowly over time but strongly depend on a situation itself. However there are types showing up more often which I identified to be the important ones for the overall development. Some are rare and useful to “spice” a play.

    I Never saw a list which I would call definitive. Although many exist trying to be one. Maybe you cannot collect all possibilities but a vote to identify the most common and important ones could really help.

    Suggestions for such a vote:
    Brat – seeking funishment and enjoying to fight for the power just to get conquered over and over again
    Service – enjoying the service aspect and caring for the dominant
    Pain slut – clear masochists needing the pain for amusement or to get relief
    Devoted – it doesn’t matter what, when or how something is happening as long as they can be with their dominant
    Slave – seeking total power exchange for certain periods of time to retreat from responsibility

    Greets Peter

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