This topic contains 6 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Sir Hermosa 8 months ago.

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  • #72069
     Sir Hermosa 
    Participant

    Premium Content | Through the Eyes of a husDOM™

    We are mostly bedroom only, but our dynamic is steadily expanding into the rest of our lives.

    Here’s my latest issue.

    Ok so my Little Peach is being quite bratty because she loves to be taken over my knee during any play time and getting spanked. So she deliberately breaks the rules knowing that she’s gonna get a hiding. It’s more than just the spanks though. She gets VERY turned on with me telling her what she did wrong, and telling her she’s getting smacked for it. So… my conundrum lies therein. How do I satisfy Little Peach’s need for spanks AND the mental aspect, without her feeling like she needs to be a brat and break our rules on purpose

  • #72070
     Sir Bee 
    Participant

    Premium Content | Through the Eyes of a husDOM™

    Sir Hermosa,

    I am getting the impression that she is breaking rules you have in place outside of play time in an effort to instigate a certain type of play during play time.

    If this is correct, have you had discussions about the type of play she enjoys? It sounds like the desires she has may be a good starting point to build scenes around. This will allow her to act out these desires in a “controlled” setting for a specified time period. Once the scene has ended she would again be expected to follow all protocols in place. As always, I think discussing this with her will be the best place to start.

  • #72071
     Mr. K sir 
    Moderator

    Premium Content | Through the Eyes of a husDOM™

    You might want to try doing maintenance spankings and instead of telling her she is being spanked for disobeying, tell her she is being spanked for being such a good girl. This may let her know she doesnt have to be bratty to get what she wants, it can be a reward for being good.

    Hîr Vuin

  • #72075
     Sir Hermosa 
    Participant

    Premium Content | Through the Eyes of a husDOM™

    Yes I’ve left it with her. We had a pretty good convo about it and she’s working through what she thinks she wants vs what we need.

    Maintenance spanking might be an option, but it turns her cranks so fast when she gets spanked that it always leads to one place. Lol.

    I did a bit of a redirect last night and gave her a good spanking for breaking a few rules, followed by a mice massage (I’m planning a scene for Tuesday, and it’s her cycle atm so no sex anyways) and the combination helped take the sexual edge off of the spanking because she was so relaxed from the run down. But she was quite open (we had a bit of downtime as I massages her) and said quite frankly that spanking is almost completely foreplay for her, and that if there isn’t some kind of release afterwards that it’s extremely mentally uncomfortable and physically frustrating. I can relate.

    So this is still going to be an ongoing issue. But I think adding a good spanking even before any twisted vanilla sex just for her being a “good girl” instead of as a punishment is a great idea.

    Side note and somewhat non-related. As I mentioned before we are mostly bedroom only D/s, but last night, in a vanilla setting, she was tired at the end of the night, ready for sleep, but it was still kind of early. I could tell she was uncomfortable, and asked her what was wrong. She told me she felt guilty that I wasn’t getting any last night because of her cycle, but that she was so tired…

    So I held her, kissed her hair, and instructed her pretty mouth to please me.

    My Little Peach slept like an angel afterwards with a silly little grin on her face. She loved that I took away the indecision and satisfied her need to please me.

    And it was frigging great. Just sayin 🙂 these are the awesome steps I’m seeing in our daily lives as we progress more from bedroom to an encompassing D/s relationship.

    End unrelated side note

    • #72081
       Sir Bee 
      Participant

      Premium Content | Through the Eyes of a husDOM™

      Glad to hear it sounds like you are working through this one and finding what will feed and meet both of your needs.

  • #72085
     Bee Keeper 
    Participant

    Premium Content | Through the Eyes of a husDOM™

    Sir Hermosa,

    I am glad to her you are communicating with your Little Peach on this issue as it will help to set expectations for both of you. As someone offered, routine maintenance spankings can help in this area. If I may offer some advice about rules and punishment. It sounds like the spanking is more of a funishment for Little Peach. While funishment can be part of your dynamic, they are different from punishments. A punishment should not be something she enjoys nor looks forward to receiving. There are blog post out here to help explain the difference between the two. For my honey bee, she also enjoys spankings. However, for punishment, there is a certain wood paddle that I use and she does not like this. Now, I have only used it once and it was enough to deter her from “earning” another punishment.

    For rules, hopefully these are rules upon which you both agree. If not, she may also be breaking them as a way of acting out against the rule itself. It was hard to tell from the information provided. For myself, I have very few rules. When we started, I setup several rules because that is what I thought needed to be done. However, as we have both grown, the rules became unnecessary are weren’t serving a purpose.

    Again, I am glad that it sounds like you are heading in the right direction with you Little Peach. I wish you the best. If I misinterpreted the situation, my apologies. Best wishes to you and your Little Peach.

  • #72089
     Sir Hermosa 
    Participant

    Premium Content | Through the Eyes of a husDOM™

    Thanks a bunch for the comments.

    They were definitely rules that were set up together, and are appropriate. She doesn’t break them because she thinks they are dumb etc.

    I think we’re going to just pick a different punishment, and promise her a good spanking during our play that day for being a good girl and following the rules.

    That way she gets her spanks, can get super excited from them, and won’t have to be a brat and deliberately break the rules to feel that she needs to “earn them”.

    Cheers

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