- September 25, 2019 at 6:33 am #73931thomkruiseParticipant
So, my Amy and I have been doing D/s now for four years. She is happy, but we have been kind of off and on in the past couple years. We decided to rededicate ourselves to it recently and it has went well! Well, until Saturday. Amy was in a bad mood. Neither of us knew why. She would just beat herself up over her mood. She asked for correction. I know that she needed something to let go. So, we went through our correction protocol and we started off with a hand spanking, moving to a paddle. I wanted her to cry and feel better, but she fought me and jumped off of me yelling “I’m done!” She feels bad that she did it, but my confidence is a little rattled. I don’t want to do more than needed, and I just haven’t been very dominant this week because of it.
Have you experienced this? What can I do to make things better. She’s fine. She knows that she should have safeworded, but she didn’t. Any help is appreciated!
- September 25, 2019 at 6:12 pm #73942Sir HermosaParticipant
Sit down and talk with her.
Go through it step by step. Make sure you weren’t missing any messages she was trying to send. Make sure she knows what to do in the future instead. LISTEN to her and find out how it made her feel, and WHY she felt that way this time. This sounds new and unusual for you two. Communication here is a must to make sure you’re both on the same page.
Maintain your dominance. Listen to her carefully and repeat/rephrase her answers and questions to make sure your getting it right.
Listen more than you talk.
Good luck sir
- September 26, 2019 at 3:36 pm #73946thomkruiseParticipant
Thank you, sir, for your advice. Amy admitted to me during our downtime that she has been feeling alone because she could feel my distance. She has been craving my dominant energy. I apologized to her for being distant and we made an action plan for each of us to try to not let this happen again.
This really helped. Thank you.
- September 26, 2019 at 4:29 pm #73947Sir OTW | AMBParticipant
thom, to echo what Hermosa said, correction definitely needs a pre-planned protocol so she knows what to expect and you can have confidence she will be fed by the process. We have funishments and correction, we also will use spanking as therapy to help her relax. Talk with her and see what would feed her and help her break out of the funk the next time, try and reassess after.
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