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    • #19865

      Hello everyone, my name is Arthur. My wife and I have a question regarding the use of either rope or cuffs. She has a fear of something happening to me while we are playing and she finds herself restrained and unable to free herself. She said she read this in a book. She shared with me that she is interested but I need to show her that there would be a way for her to free herself from either rope or cuffs. We are new so any help, ideas, or solutions would be appreciated.

      Thank you

    • #19866

      It is your job as the rigger to first and foremost know what you are doing first.

      Rope play while fun can be dangerous, you can injure nerves if you tie incorrectly, safety shears are a must have for any rope activities and if using cuffs, they key is imperative.

      Amazon sells many good guides if this is the form of play. When I started I began with tying on mannequins, I practiced on something I could injure before I tried my partner.

      Just cause you think you can doesn’t mean you should. Purchase some books on knots, got to Rei and buy some rope and become proficient on the basic knots.

      Go to community events where they teach rope classes.


    • #19867

      Horse tack stores sell a quick release device that many people use in the scene for safety. It is used in rigging, use on crosses, and if I restrain to something like a bed, I will always use one, so if I croak or something, she can free the one hand and release the rest of her self.

      Search for “panic snap” and you will find it. They are readily available online, but beware if its associated with kink, you will pay a premium.

    • #19868

      Good subject for all even if for reminders. My curvey has small wrists and the leather cuffs I got her are something that she can slip out of if she really really wanted to. I don’t crank them down too hard because she has carpal tunnel in one wrist (and I don’t want to have to remember which one! LOL)

      As far as rope goes, that’s a bit stickier. If you’re doing your job right, she’s not getting out of the rope without your assistance.

      Reassurance to her as you build trust that you will never ever leave the room when she’s tied up. She needs to know you’re there. And if you’ve got her blindfolded, especially at first, never leave your hands completely off of her for more than a moment. As long as she feels even the lightest touch of one finger or your thigh, she will know you’re there while you fumble around for your next toy or painful implement! 😉

    • #19869

      Also, be sure to pick up some paramedic shears off the web. They are cheap, heavy duty and have rounded ends so you can cut the rope off fast if you needed to.

    • #19872

      Basic | Dominant


      If it is her first time being restrained, going out and getting cuffs and rope and investing time and money into something neither of you know you will enjoy maybe pointless…..

      She sounds like she is interested but has fears of the unknown. This feeling is of course completely normal. Personally, to start I would use a thick, soft scarf for a few reasons.

      1. The scarf has bulk, so when you tie a knot, the knot is big a bulky, making it very easy for you to untie quickly. You can also leave the scarf loose around her limbs so she can get out if she desires.

      2. You can simply tie a normal knot, no need to learn Knots yet…

      3. The scarf is think so when you tie it around limbs it has a wide band so you do not have to worry about nerve damage with simple bondage. Simple bondage being, limb tied to hard point with no bodyweight on the scarf.

      4. The scarf is soft, which she will most likely enjoy.

      5. You can purchase four scarfs, one for each limb to tie to bed posts or as such, at a very reasonable price.

      6. If yourself or your partner do not enjoy it, well you still have scarfs to use on cold days. If you do both enjoy it, well you have some scarfs now….

      Also I would not blindfold her the first time! Start slow and do one thing at a time. Talk her thought it asking questions and praise her on the good job she is doing.

      Enjoy and have fun.

      Best regards,

    • #19875

      Basic | Dominant

      For the first few times maybe make the bondage safe and symbolic, loosely around the wrist but give her the end to hold, that way she can let go if panic sets in !

    • #19878

      Premium Content | Through the Eyes of a husDOM™

      How’s it going Arthur, welcome. A lot of good info and more knowledge players in here than myself but I’ll chime in with a few points… If she’s never been restrained/tied your going to need to go slow. Not to presume your experience level but she has a legitimate concern/fear and it will take time and you showing her your both prepared and educated to build trust. Even that trust is no guarantee that you won’t heart attack, or going into cardiac arrest, or some other unforeseen emergency that may present itself in the middle while see is restrained in this scene. That being said talk with her about her fears and show her that you have the foresight and understanding that these scenarios although wildly unlikely are possible. explain to her the failsafes you have worked in to your planning to keep her safe. I would suggest that you start with small steps and before you go to steel-cuffs and rope bondage you might want to start out with a simple necktie or scarf, both are soft and somewhat forgiving while still serving the purpose both aesthetically and psychologically and will provide for more intimacy at least initially. maybe just start with one particular body group that you would pre-negotiate. Also I personally wouldn’t consider restraining someone to any sort of a fixed object in their first session. I guess my overall advice would just be to go slow, stay safe, and have fun! remember that the ideal outcome at the end of it would be that you both want to do it again

    • #19880

      I was looking into this with my pet when we started this journey we looked at some of the different restraints out there there are the cheaper restraint you get at some your local adult stores most of these have a spilt ring from the cuff to a clip

      I tested this with my pet when we first got them and these offer good restraint for on bed play but not for any hanging play or off door
      I had my pet pull hard on the cuffs and the spilt ring opens up and she could get her self out I spoke to some other re this and these cuff are designed to do that

      Once she was confortable with what we were doing we changed the split rings to a little d shackle and and panic clips

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