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  • Introduction

    Posted by hjuki on at

    Hello! Me and my “moon” are still on our 14 year journey as Master/slave, and I am excited to be here with you all to discuss and learn from one another. It really is refreshing to see a D/s community founded on marriage instead of play partners.

    I would like to give back, as well. I’m not sure if I will be able to provide information on what to do right the first time, but I can definitely chime in on what to do when things get stale, or when you mess up, because I’ve been there. There’s so much more life potential to a D/s lifestyle when it’s based on an enduring marriage.

    I am a 34 year old, and a little heavier set, so I’m interested to see the fitness area.. I fully believe we should be SADs (Sexy Ass Dominant) for our wives who submit their bodies to us, but it’s one of those things I’ve neglected.

    Hope to see you all around, and happy to be here!

    Mr.Fox replied 7 years, 2 months ago 5 Members · 6 Replies
  • 6 Replies
  • snrub

    Member
    at

    Hello Hjuki

    Welcome. 14 years! Wow, that’s impressive. My wife and I are about five months. Although it’s been brief relative to your experience, it really has been incredible. Life changing in fact. We always had a very good marriage but this dynamic has taken it off the charts. I can’t say that we never fight anymore but it’s a tiny fraction to the little power struggles and icy silences that used to take place.

    I’m interested to hear more from you about what to do when things get stale or off track. We’ve had a few ebbs along the way. There have been a couple of times where I thought this wasn’t going to work and considered giving it up. My girl is terrific and very supportive but this is mostly led by me. When we ebb it’s because I get to feeling that she’s not being actively submissive. Sometimes she doesn’t seem to be in the mood. And gets irritated when I try to get her back into her role and our dynamic. Would appreciate any advice or suggestions.

    Thanks and again… welcome.

  • Unknown Member

    Deleted User
    at

    Welcome to HusDOM. Glad you found us. 14 years is impressive.

    I started getting. More fit these past few months. Please join the group and start to “chart” your progress.

    The thing that hit me is how can I be master of her body if I’m. It master of my own? She deserves the best me in all facets of who I am. Including my body.

    Again welcome and I look forward to hearing more from you. Take care

  • hjuki

    Member
    at

    Snrub, Tex, thank you for the warm welcome. I should have made it more clear that while we’re talking about 14 years of mostly great marriage, but a pretty small percentage of that has been in a successful D/s-M dynamic. I should have included in my initial introduction, but I typically refer to us as Masters and our wives as slaves, so please don’t think that I don’t have respect for anyone else’s different dynamic.

    I don’t know anything about your dynamic, but what I will say is that if your wife has gone on this journey with you, you have to understand that she will suffer through more of your failures, letdowns, restarts more than any “play partner” will, and it’s your responsibility to keep trying to be, consistently, Master. It took me a long time to realize that I was hurting her by NOT disciplining her, by NOT Dominating her.

    Everyone goes at different paces (and you may already be at this point), but when your wife is really ready, be prepared for the shift because it won’t be about whether she’s happy your her Master, it will be about her being unhappy your not acting like her Master.

    I guess what I’m saying is that I see a lot of posts talking about getting busy, getting beaten down by life, being in a stale/offtrack kind of place, and not being the Master we thought we’d be to fulfill her needs. It’s SO important that she at least knows you’re still there, that you still want it, and that she’s not going to lose it completely. she doesn’t need Master Grey, she needs to know you’re committed to the D/s-M dynamic just like you’re committed to your marriage.

    Tex, to respond to your comment, I totally agree. We NEED to discipline ourselves just as much as our wives.

    • dominus

      Member
      at

      Hjuki,

      I guess what I’m saying is that I see a lot of posts talking about getting busy, getting beaten down by life, being in a stale/offtrack kind of place, and not being the Master we thought we’d be to fulfill her needs. It’s SO important that she at least knows you’re still there, that you still want it, and that she’s not going to lose it completely. she doesn’t need Master Grey, she needs to know you’re committed to the D/s-M dynamic just like you’re committed to your marriage.

      I agree that if one looks at the world as vanilla simply because the fantasy of D/s is not prescent then that is not dominant nor 24D/s. To be dominant means to have that mindset at all times. Not just when the submissive is present. The excuse of life getting in the way is vanilla in it’s self. Problems will always arise. It’s how one handles them…..

      Best regards,
      Sir

      • Mr.Fox

        Administrator
        at

        Quote of the day…

        To be dominant means to have that mindset at all times. Not just when the submissive is present.

        Mr Fox

  • Mr.Fox

    Administrator
    at

    hjuki,

    Welcome aboard!

    I look forward to chatting with you soon.

    Best wishes,

    Mr Fox

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